I believe in God because he wouldn't let me go! I was brought up by parents who would tick Christian on a form and went to church at Christmas and Easter, but for me it became more than that at around the age of 10. Every time God was mentioned I felt the need to know more and gradually gained 'academic' knowledge of Him. Over the years I discovered I was good at science and went on to study chemistry at university - I was constantly amazed at concepts like infinity and the weirdness of quantum mechanics, they filled me with a sense of awe at the wonder of the universe. All through this time the need to know about God became stronger and I started going to church occasionally and trying to pray. Slowly I realised that the awe I felt at the universe and this need to know God were two halves of the same thing and I began to consider myself a Christian. 

When I left university I wanted very much to be a teacher, but I'd met my soon to be husband and money was tight. Instead I got a well paid job and started planning our wedding. My husband wanted a church wedding (despite not being a believer) and we had to go for six months to join the electoral role - it was an amazing blessing for me because over those six months I met a wonderful community of christian believers and saw love in action. Still not being a fast learner I stopped going to the church after we were married. Two years later we moved abroad and I found myself in a strange country, not speaking the language with a small child - I found an English speaking church and it helped, but for the next two years I struggled with faith, I read every athiest argument against God I could find and I'd be convinced by them for days at a time, but slowly the feeling of God wanting me, comforting me or reaching out to me came back. It was tough living away from friends and family and I became depressed and not the mother I wanted to be. When we came home I made a visit to our local church, I asked God to forgive me for the mistakes I had made in recent years and everything suddenly came together - I felt an overwhelming rush of warmth and forgiveness. I left that church a different person able to have a great realtionship with my son and now my daughter as well. Since that day I have really considered myself a Christian.

It's not been easy, I have wobbled and felt far from God, but I am so grateful that no matter how far I stray he gently reaches out to me when I'm ready. I've been a member of the church I was forgiven in for 2 and a half years now and have slowly but surely felt my life changing from the inside out. One major change has been in my career, my longing to be a teacher never went away but when it finally became possible to do the training I was uncertain I could cope. I felt a really strong call from God not only to go ahead but to try to work in an area near us with very difficult schools - I took that leap and with God's help am loving my new job some years on!